How Singing Saved Me Last Night...
Yesterday, I was struggling.
Do you ever find yourself in such a funky downward spiral that everything seems, looks and feels hopeless?
That's where I found myself yesterday afternoon. Looking back on it, I can see what triggered it all, but at the time I was not conscious of it and soon one negative thought led to the next and the whole world seemed like it was crashing down on me.
I found myself curled up in the fetal position,
crying and feeling like nothing could be done
and things would never get better.
Now this is hard for me to admit because most of the time I feel like I have to "have it all together," being someone who usually guides other people through this sort of turbulence.
But I still hit bumpy roads and turbulence too... shocking news, I know. :)
One thing I know is that this actually makes me better at my job because I know what it feels like to be there, and how to navigate myself out...usually.
I know how hopeless, helpless, out of control, frustrated, sad, angry, "just want to curl up in a ball and disappear" life can make you feel sometimes.
But there is a way out. And all it takes is having the tools and making the choice not to stay there. Luckily, the coach in me (aka Big Cherstin) came forward and said,
Big Cherstin: "What tools do you have to get out of this?"
Small Cherstin: "NONE! This is hopeless. All that crap doesn't really work anyway!"
Big Cherstin: "Oh ok, well you have fun down there in that dark, muddy ditch. I'll be up here when you're ready."
When I finally had enough of my misery, I did the only thing I know to do when I am in such a state... I surrendered it all, my emotions, my commitment to the struggle, my hopelessness and fear, and asked the Universe to deal with it in a way that was right for me.
And as soon as I did that, I realized what I needed to do. I remembered, once again (oh how easily we forget what we know), the tool that has always brought me back to peace of mind, which is the state that you will always make the best choices and decisions for yourself.
I got up, went over to my yoga mat and started singing, toning, and bringing forth what was within me, transforming it into sound to be released.
After about 10 minutes of that, I felt clear, calm, peaceful and I even had some lyrics come to me that formed into a little song. This little song soothed me in the perfect way I needed to be soothed, kinda like a little lullaby.
You see sometimes the hardest thing isn't knowing WHAT to do, it's having the willingness to do it, the willingness to let go of the cheap pleasure you're getting out of being stuck in a ditch, covered in mud, feeling sorry for yourself... yes most of us get some sort of weird pleasure out of that. I'll be the first to admit it.
In the past I wasn't even conscious of being in this state and I would look for things outside of myself to soothe or numb me (food, alcohol, television, anything to distract me from my misery). But the more I did that, the worse the pain got and the more I needed to be numbed.
In moments like these we need to go inward to observe what's coming up, leaning into the pain. In my experience, this is when true release and healing happens. When we try to medicate ourselves with something outside of us, we are just digging the wound deeper.
The moment we see these experiences as opportunities for healing and growth, rather than seeing them as something bad or wrong with us, we are truly empowered. The inner light is turned on and darkness naturally lessens or goes away completely.
I am so grateful for the lessons that I have learned, the tools I've gained and for my willingness to let go, surrender and choose something different.
The voice is one of my most favorite tools that has helped me throughout my entire life. It is such a powerful, transformative tool that we each were born with and that we each can use for healing and for creating what we want in our lives, instead of dwelling in the past, in the mud, in the ditch.
I've experienced this phenomenon in my life over and over again, and I finally started consciously using as a healing tool for myself.
This tool is available to everyone. To quote Laurel Elizabeth Keyes, "If you can groan, you can tone." It's not about sounding pretty or winning a spot on "The Voice." Trust me, last night was not a pretty sound coming out of me!
But it was real. It was an expression of what was within me at the moment.
Real beauty is truth and authenticity.
"If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth what it within you, what is within you will destroy you."
Once again, I found this to be true.
What is ready to come forth from within you?
It doesn't always have to be sad or negative either. It's also important to bring forth celebrations, love, joy, whatever is wanting to be released or shared with the world.
in Love and Light,
Want to learn more about how to become your own sound healer, activate the power of your unique voice and transform your mental/emotional state in as little as 4 minutes!?!
Check out my new GaiaTree Sound Healing Mini Course! Let go of the mental and emotional weight that is dragging you down, draining your energy and stealing your sparkle.
Learn more about this course here and get a free GaiaTree Song mp3 download.
Cherstin Polson Integrative Nutrition Health Coach Master Transformational Coach Certified Yoga Teacher
ABOUT ME I received my training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and Holistic MBA where I learned about more than one hundred dietary theories and studied a variety of practical lifestyle and transformational coaching methods. Drawing on this knowledge, I will help you create a completely personalized “roadmap to health” that suits your unique body, lifestyle, preferences, and goals.
My favorite clients are women who are so fed up with trying to reach their health goals on the physical, mundane, grit your teeth, punishing, forcing, never good enough level and know there must be a better way!
They've finally realized trying hard isn't fun, didn't work and trying harder is just doing more of what isn't fun and doesn't work. It's time for a different approach. I use an "out of the box," holistic, mind/body approach that will help you clarify your goals, identify what's holding you back, and bust through the barriers in order to transform your health and your life in an easy, sustainable way. Learn more about me and my unique approach to health coaching.