When to ask for help...
A huge part of my work with helping my clients become their own health expert so they can reach their weight, energy and health goals, is about connecting to the deep wisdom and internal guidance that is within each of us.
I find that a lot of women in particular struggle with being people pleasers, allowing themselves and their lives to be pushed and pulled by the external forces of life including their loved ones, friends, family, jobs, life circumstances, etc.
Most of the time we don’t even realize we are doing this
because it’s such a part of who we’ve become and it feels so familiar to us to live our lives this way.
Through my own personal experience, I’ve recognized how destructive it is to have my life guided by external forces, always looking to other people to determine what I should or shouldn't do, who I should or shouldn’t be... I’ve become incredibly passionate about turning the focus to a more inwardly guided experience.
How I got triggered
The other day I was talking to a friend about a spiritual book she was reading that was saying a lot of spiritual teachings tell you that “God” is within you, that a part of you is connected to the energy and consciousness that is the Creator (or whatever you like to call it… I like Source, the Universe, Great Spirit, etc.). This book was saying that those teachings are wrong, that God is out there, not in here, and that you are working for Him.
This made me SO ANGRY!!!!! I wanted to throw something!
I got really heated about his perspective because it goes against so much of what I teach and what I strive for in my own life. I have found such healing and grace in knowing and connecting to that part of me that is connected to Source. I go inward to find this, not outside of myself.
But whenever I get that angry about something, there is always a lesson for me to learn.
It really triggered me.
So I posed the question to myself, “what is this here to teach me?” And I got the answer in my dream last night...
* Read this to learn how to use your dreams to receive guidance *
In my dream I had just gotten a job working at a retail store. I felt lost and confused, like I didn’t know what to do in this job. I was afraid of being fired because I wasn’t really helping much and even more afraid to ask the manager how I could help out of fear she would think I was “an idiot” for not knowing. So I just kept trying to look busy and not really doing anything.
You see I sometimes tend to go from one extreme to the other. Most of my childhood and early teens/adulthood was spent being directed by others, people pleasing and living my life according to what others expected and wanted from me. Over the past five or so years, I’ve been consciously turning that around and deepening my connection to my own internal guidance and intuition and gaining so much from this practice.
But what I’ve realized, and have not been practicing, is that it’s both. Sometimes you need to look inward, sometimes you need to look outward.
As I was reflecting upon this dream the next morning, the thought came,
“Why didn’t I just ask the manager how I could best help?”
It was like I was putting so much pressure on myself to just “know” how to do everything before I even learned so I wouldn’t be seen as an idiot for not knowing, which sounds a little crazy if you think about it. Did I expect to just “intuit” what I was supposed to do in that job?
This reminded me of the importance of finding the balance between internal guidance and external guidance, and knowing when to use each. There’s nothing wrong with asking questions and seeking help outside when you don’t know the answers or how to do something. It’s how we learn.
It also reminded me not to be too proud to ask for help when I need it.
Pride can really get in the way of growth if you let it.
Without asking my manager in the dream how I could best be of use, I made myself look like an idiot by just piddling around and not really doing anything, which was exactly the thing I was trying to avoid. Ironic, but that’s the way these things work. Any time you let fear guide you, it usually comes back to bite you in the butt.
So my question to you is,
Where is your life would it benefit you to ask for some help or guidance?
Where do you feel stuck?
Let go of needing to know everything or figure everything out yourself.
Press the easy button and ask for help already.
Stop making things harder than they should be!
Yes, I'm talking to you.
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To the EASY life,